Artist: Perkulatory
Album: Chronic Caffeine Dependence

Year: 2017
Genrer: Death Metal
Run time: 23 minutes
My rating: 4 out of 5

Give me a minute. I'm just going to prepare my coffee maker. 6 cups of water, 8 cups of crushed beans; A reasonable portion to a 231 lbs heavy body like me. Such a brilliant project like this has to be enjoyed with the most dark roasted beans available on the market. My poop has to sip out from my ring muscle in a big bad explosion before bedtime - DOWN THE HATCH!

So to circumvent the introduction with a story lesson, we have to move back to the 19th century where we find The Perkulator, which was invented in 1810 - but thanks to Benjamin Thompson and James H Mason it was spread throughout America and Europe between 1860-1865. A very faithful instrument in every coffee-drinkers dwelling, whose simulation pumping makes your coffee even stronger than usual. So if you like your morning drink as strong as Arabic coffee, acquire a perkulator and start pumping its filtering as you pump your muscles!

Now, let us leave the history of the perkulator. We can move forward to Stockholm, Sweden, where three highly enthusiastic musicians, which in 2014 chose to tame the subgenres of Death Metal to highlight the new trend of Coffee Drinking Metal; PERKULATORY- Sounds pretty Metal, ey? Yeah, sure it does. Perkulatory is more Metal than Dale Cooper and Nocturno Culto everyday whatsoever. Maybe not blacker, but deadlier than the blackest coffee in a moonless night (Oh yes, there are many Twin Peaks references here).

On Friday last week, they finally released their awaited debut album, Chronic Caffeine Dependence. Coffee Grinder, Java Lord and the Unexpected Visitor brings us seven songs with a total of 23 minutes brewing time. A concentrated decoction of brutality with no milk or sugar added.

You morons who don't like humorous music, such as Birdflesh, Cannabis Corpse, Ghoul or Austrian Death Machine may not appreciate the lyrics, but as a death metal fanatic in general, you can hardly resist the musical aspects featuring cookie buzzing guitars, neck-breaking drumbeats and intestinal rotated bass-slappings and different vocalists from coffee-filled stomach wolvings to pyrosis crows - And ofcourse, some quotes/samples can be recognizable from Twin Peaks, as well as Package Tour or Can You Get Fish and Chips at the Flamenco?)

The disc has already spun about eight times since the record hit the mailbox yesterday. This is crazy, and I sincerely hope that this is just the beginning of a long journey for Perkulatory. They are really experienced when it comes to song writing and the theme about coffee just makes it even better. I really like the members' choice of outfit, it represents the correct picture of the band's appearance. They fully focus on the subject and this is something that would be fun to experience live. If Nifelheim likes to throw meatballs on stage, what would not be better than having a sea of coffee sweeping over our body? Really refreshing and gives us more energy to mosh a little extra.

The album's artwork by artist Łukasz Jaszak speaks plainly. A mutated coffee drinker who pimples coffee as a crazy drug addict, and it's not an exaggeration when I mention that Sweden with the Swedes drinks the second most coffee in the world. The country that is at its peak is Finland. So now it's up to us to show which ones are the real Java champions!

My advice is that you, like me, have a cup of coffee (Arvid Nordqvist is the real deal), visit Perkulatory's bandcamp, raise your cup in the air and order a copy or three of this amazing record and listen to it in a frenetic high volume. Because if you like your Death Metal hard-boiled, scratched and swedish, this is the definitive option for you. That's a damn good cup of coffee!


Band members:
Java Lord - Bass, Guitars, Vocals
Coffee Grinder - Guitars, Vocals
Unexpected Visitor - Vocals (lead)

Label: Independent
Country: Sweden

Bandcamp: https://perkulatory.bandcamp.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/perkulatory/