5/17/17

THE TENDERIZER (2001)

Directed by: Andy Patton, Jorge Jaramillo
Written by: Andy Patton
Stars: Andy Patton, Dan Prine, Jason Elkins


Year: 2001
Genrer: Gore, Horror, Short
Run time: 60 minutes
My rating: 3 out of 5
REVIEW WRITTEN BY: RICHARD TAYLOR. SCREENSHOTS

Indiana indie film maker and YouTube sensation/mad man Andy Patton releases a couple of zero budget trash movies with his friends.  He unleashed The Traveling Man and The Tenderizer upon the unsuspecting masses.  Fortunately for fans of low budget so bad its good cinema Jason Toth and the fine folks at Toxic Filth Video and King Of Witches have met with Andy and have releases these two potboiler gems for crazed underground aficionados to witness and masturbate to while eating their favorite snacks.

The Tenderizer is a rough looking shot on camcorder/video production which can easily be described as a fun killer on a rampage romp without much plot but plenty of chops to make it a fulfilling viewing experience for those seeking the finer trash/horror/exploitation films in life.  The movie plays out like a bunch of set up skits or scenes where we get different friends of Patton playing different characters, sometimes repeatedly such as construction workers, kids, mechanics, bar bouncers, superheros, pimps, video store clerks and more. The Tenderizer literally beats, decapitates,cuts, pulls, gouges, eviscerates and crushes a path through anyone who stands in his way as he is in pursuit of the one victim that got away after his family were tenderized and butchered.

Dr. Jizzo's experimental human weapon The Tenderizer has risen and escaped and he is on a mission to "beat the meat".  Lots of great humor in this one if you can catch it, some intentional and obviously some not so.  It reminds me of a lot of the shot on video German gore films except this one had the balls to take place in an urban setting and not an isolated forest in the countryside.  The formula is the same, you have a masked killer who creatively dispatches every poor sap he comes across with a special focus on using his weapon of choice, the meat tenderizer mallet.

Lots of crazy minuscule budget gore effects in this one with lots of fake entrails, blood spurting, severed heads and more plus some unlikely scenes such as death by water balloon.  Lots of great humor bits, all I can't remember but a couple involve the tenderizer hiding behind holding up a dead guy as Andy Patton's sole survivor character asks him for directions and the tenderizer moves the corpses arms like a puppet. Some great scenes in a local video store where the staff is trying to close the place down and one customer has spent all day in the adults only section because they have such a great selection and a cool scene in a local restaurant/take out joint called Big Fat Ass Ribs.

I enjoyed the different locations and fast pace the film moved to keep things interesting plus it doesn't take itself seriously and hilariously makes fun of its own shortcomings. In one particuler scene it all of a sudden turns into winter in the movie with the help of a brilliant and funny segway title sequence which was said to have supposedly been brought on by Dr. Jizzo's experiment.  Its just crazy and amusing shit that some will get a kick out of, by no means if your a fan of any mainstream Hollywood films and are not schooled in hardcore low budget z grade movie making would I seek this out unless you know what your getting yourself into.  I know what it is, I know I what I like and The Tenderizer delivered on these merits for me.

Big shout out to Jason Toth and Toxic Filth Video for exposing me to such madness as they continue to unleash only the finest in underground filth and schooling fans by keeping it fresh and real.  Check out Toxic Filth Video on Facebook or message Jason Toth to check out the latest selection of toxic waste he has for sale.  Special thanks to Andy Patton for being himself and making this fucked up shit and for sending a re-edited version.  Search Andy Patton on YouTube or Andy P's Short Films, you will be sorry.


MORE DETAILS:

Produced by: Sarah L Romano
Cinematography by: Jorge Jaramillo
Editing by: Andy Patton, Jorge Jaramillo
Special Effects by: Andy Patton, Jorge Jaramillo
Music by: Crissy Szymczak, Jose Camarillo and Malformed, Dave Devries and Brewtality
Country: USA
Language: English
Color: Color

Distributor: Toxic Filth Video.




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