2/1/15

DEADLY DETOUR (2011)

Written by: Tim Nordstedt.

Well, lately I have had some severe issues with everything remarkable braindead, stupid or just generally pointless, movies after movies had piled up and my brain just couldn´t handle the intellect-vaporizing retardness it was exposed to, minutes of my life had been torn away and stolen from me and I had not learned anything or even gained something like a little piece of entertainment thrown at me so what was the point of writing anything? everything left a blank spot in me so I left the reviews blank, I honestly hope that I will find something a bit more challenging soon or at least dumb in a funny way, anything that doesn´t make me want to run out and throw myself in the 10 feet snowpiles outside while screaming gibberish and punding my forehead with an overgrown icicle would make me very thankful right now!

But how in the blazing, searing, fiery pits of hell did I manage to watch through Deadly Detour and got strength to do a review about it will forever remain a mystery to me.

Deadly Detour is not in any form a quality film, it´s cheap in an SoV zero budget way, it has almost no gore effects except for some splashes of fakeblood and some badly made guts that looks like a spastic drunkard tried to make homemade chorizos, and obviously the actors thought so too because they just can´t stop fingering on those sausagelooking guts on the ground for some reason, so the most gore lovers will not be impressed and from what it looks like the most didn´t enjoy this movie.

It starts off with a retarded couple in a car, the male is more than obvious a rapist but sadly he get´s interrupted by a screaming woman that is in chock after a ketchupbottle exploded over her, shortly thereafter we get to meet our villain in a bad rubbermask named Goatman, like everyone else I don´t know why they named him Goatman, a more fitting name would be deformedinbredretardman, to my further dissapointment Goatmans related parents have not learned him to have fun with his victims so the kill ends up as an anticlimax, but then we get to see him in a little dismember action, nothing fancy at all but it was a nice moment.

And as everything showed a promise of things looking better we get to meet the retards that we are going to follow, a bunch of boring people in a car followed by another bunch of stoned retards in another car, I had my hopes up for the killings but as the start didn´t promise that much my hopes were low, but I would still feel a little joy seeing them dissappear one by one from this movie.

I didn´t pay alot of attention as the characters shows no sign of having an ability to form a complete sentence or having the decency to say something interesting or funny but as it goes on half of the gang decides to run into the forest and have what they refer to be a "party", which more or less means a couple of dumbasses standing in the woods drinking beers and smoking pot while being blissfully ignorants.
Goatman catches up pretty late and takes up action after the horrible view of what should suppose to be a sexscene, the deathscene after they are done could pass as something funny but it just looks way too, ok I hate when people says that it looks fake because ofcourse it´s fake but still everything about it looks more than fake, everything from the acting to effects, the rest of the murders are more general and doesn´t give anything except for the scene with the car but that one just came out stupid from a logical sense. The ending actually made me lagh for a bit but it hold on to it way to long without the capacity to freshen it up visually in the long run.

So here I ended up with something cheap (doesn´t usually have to be a bad thing), retarded, fake, boring, not so gory movie that actually could have become something very interesting if it was done in the right way except for the missleading cover.

Rating: 1 out of 5.




Directed by: Mike O'Mahony
Written by: Andrew Hall, Mike O'Mahony
Produced by: Mike O'Mahony
Cinematography by: Mike O'Mahony
Editing by: Rob Nawrocki
Special Effects by: Julie Ann Hamolko, Mike O'Mahony
Music by: Adam Rehmeier
Cast: James Costa, Corinne Liz, Jon Owens,  Stacie Hartman,
Terence Salmon, Brian Harrington, Murphy Richards, Julie Ann Hamolko,
Tina Khaladze, Erich Ficke, Andrew Hall, Heather Rubenstein.

Year: 2011
Country: USA
Language: English 
Color: Color
Runtime: 1h 15min

Distributor: Maniac Films


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