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RETARD-O-TRON III (2013)

Written by Tim "Naexos" Nordstedt

The diverse series of Mondo genre continues to baffle me, ever since I was a kid and got breaken in by the movie that the most of us got presented to, the horrifying Faces of Death or maybe I should say horrifyiing for it´s time because nowadays the mainly fake collection of footage more or less gets a dumbed down smile all over your face, not knowing any better in that time you got pretty chocked by the experience and still wanted to see the weirdest things this world had to offer.





Going back in time and taking on the more fun to watch Mondo cane to the more gruesome Traces of Death and Faces of Gore the most things got covered except for the zoolophilia part, I have to thank Coming Soon and Dark Side of Porn for that and yes I did miss the South Park episode where they made fun off EFA.


And here we have Retard-O-Tron.
Now Retard-O-Tron is not what you can call the casual Mondo movie and honestly it´s not even a Mondo movie but it´s fun like hell! I haven´t seen the first two but after this one i have to look them up, Retard-O-Tron is not even a movie, it´s a collection of hilarious oddities mashed together and clips from old movies that the actors more than anything would love to forget.

The title couldn´t be more perfect, as I was sitting in the couch and watching this spectacle the absolute first thing that came to mind is that this would be the perfect music video to a cyberporn grindband or 10 000 of them, this movie is still over one hour and a half long and the average length of cyberporn song is for the most part about twenty seconds.

If you don´t have any form of life and spend the most time by sitting and surfing on the weirdest things you can find on Charonboat, Efukt and other similar sites, chances are that you have seen the Asian movies. most, I´m not that oriented all though I have seen the most but alot of the material here were new to me and now I really have to seek up some of those



Us lifedefying black metalheads will surely recognize the first clip from one of the wonderful pictures in Funeral Mists album Maranatha and then everything blows in fireworks of depravity, obscenity and juvenile fun. So after we choose not to expand our intelligence and press play we will witness clips from some old action and horrormovies that really didn´t leave the most flattering mark in the history of moviemaking, women with very flexible analholes that can be used like a bottlewarmer for example, women fecalizing in odd places, popping out buttholes and what would the world of depraved weirdness be without the Japanese people?

less weird ofcourse so that country contributes hard with crazy movieclips, some that I have never seen before,  showers of urine, A fastfood restaurant named Mczinalds that I will not recommend to anyone except for a couple few, a woman that is pretty much setting a form of pukewaterfall record  that will get the most emetophilias raise a flag, and they are chucked up during inappropriate situations which seems to appreciated in the long run when it comes to some people.



Boobs, alot of boobs, but most of the time not in the most flattering way, those airbags have a certain suffocation warning stamp on them.

A recurring clip is from a show were the gourmetchef Merrill Kaley who is a, well to say it in a political correct way a corpulent, mentally challenged young man, he is not Jamie Oliver or Gordon Ramsay but pretty entertaining, unfortunately for him not intentional, I´m more than surprised and a little bit disappointed that he actually have his fingers intact after the so called show.

If you are a fan of Idol and the more failed contestants in that show Retard-O-Tron have the 80s version of it and hundreds of other tings that makes no bigger sense.




So if you are bored with surfing around and just want to sit back, put your brain on autopilot and see alot of retarded things then pick this up. And as their homepage quite accurately describes it, this is an astonishing audio-visual meltdown farted from the filthy anus of the video revolution.




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